A Book Series: Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb

It has been months since I expressed that I would be starting a book series with my blogs; kindly, forgive my delay. I will do my best to increase the frequency of these book recommendations and resources moving forward. Having said that, the second book that I present to you is entirely different from the last one I recommended — this one is called Maybe You Should Talk to Someone. As a therapist, I am obviously of the opinion that many individuals, at some point in their lives, will benefit from talking with a therapist. An outsiders objective and educated prospective is often so valuable in bringing change to the places in our lives that feel stuck or difficult to change on our own. I digress… 

Who is the author? 

Lori Gottlieb is the author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, in addition to a couple of other books. She is a therapist, who - as the book reflects - also has experienced being a client. She writes of her experience from both sides of the proverbial couch.

Who is the ideal audience? 

Honestly, this book felt so applicable to me, as a therapist (and a human). It is difficult for me to tell if I would enjoy this book equally if I were not a person who works in the mental health field, so my objectivity on this “book review” is questionable. Having said that, I found Gottlieb’s writing to be so relatable, both clinically and personally. Throughout the memoir, she essentially switches back and forth between her position as a client on the couch to her experience in the other chair, as a therapist. I think that anyone whose occupation is in a helping profession - a social worker, a first responder, a therapist, perhaps even a teacher, would really enjoy this memoir and find it to be heavily relatable. 

How is it written? 

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone is written as a memoir, highlighting the author’s experience of transformation and growth within her own therapy, as well as that in her work as a therapist.  

What is this book about? 

If you surveyed a number of readers and asked them what this book was about, you’d likely hear a variety of answers. Gottlieb touches on a lot of themes and experience throughout this book; I am simply highlighting the one that was most pronounced to me. 

Grief. Grief is everywhere in this book. The writer’s own grief about uncertainties pertaining to relationships and motherhood. She writes about her career path and how she landed in the mental health field, after ruling out screen-writing and the medical field. Life so rarely takes on the shape that we anticipate, or maybe even hope for (if we’re willing to admit that to ourselves), and there is some level of grief involved in walking a path that differs from the one that we envisioned our feet would tread upon.

Perhaps more pertinent than the author’s loss of a once-imagined career path, are the stories that she tells of two clients who embody grief in two distinct ways. Without giving their stories away, these two clients are entirely opposite one another. John is irritating, frankly. He sees the worst in those around him and treats them accordingly. He’s annoying and self-absorbed. Eventually, we learn that he has experienced a tremendous loss in the death of one of his children, occurring years before he enters into counseling with Gottlieb. (Spoiler alert, John grows on you as he is slowly transformed by the safety that he experiences within the therapeutic alliance that is formed, in addition to his recognition of the ways that he feels he has failed as a father, becoming human both to Gottlieb as a therapist, and to us, the readers.) Contrastingly, is Julie. She is lovely, full of life. She is bubbly and generous, tending to see the best in those around her - strangers and companions alike. She presents with a terminal illness and we bare witness as she grapples with the reality of her own life ending decades earlier than she would have anticipated. Both clients stories are that of grief - they are heartbreakingly relatable and human and raw. 

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If this blog has been intriguing to you, I would recommend that you get a copy of Lori Gottlieb’s book. I know this post sounds so heavy, but I promise it is also a funny and entertaining read, clearly with significant depth. If this theme of grief has resonated with you, whether processing the difficult emotions associated with the death of a loved one or due to a different ending (loss of a job, a friendship, a significant life transition), we at BeSpoke Counseling would love to sit in this hard space with you. Grief is a part of life that everyone experiences at some point or another, but rarely is it normalized or discussed openly. We create a space in which you can grieve, as well as be equipped with language and resources for how to navigate your grief. Reach out to us today for a free phone consultation, or click here to schedule an intake now.